Unfamiliar Waters

Image from pixdaus.com

The new semester is already three weeks old!  Marketing and Economics are behind us.  The new semester includes Critical Thinking and Managerial Accounting for the first 10 weeks, then we'll have five weeks of Organizational Behavior and Change (four hours each session).

Critical Thinking is taught by Dr. Werner.  I thought the Leadership Series was a good catalyst to help me get back to introspection, but Critical Thinking is causing more introspection.  The class requires a lot of reading during the week, but this reading is difficult for me to just gloss over.  It is rich with meaty information that I'm constantly asking myself, "What do I do with this?  How can I apply this?"  Dr. Werner does a great job of facilitating the class discussion and is very intentional about bringing everyone into the conversation.  It has only felt like we've been sitting a few minutes when we realize that the two hours have passed.

Accounting has been very fast paced as well.  Dr. Peoples definitely loves to teach and brings a sense of excitement to the classroom - which is hard to do with this subject.  The problem sets have been moderately challenging so far, but I can tell they will be getting more difficult very quickly.

At this point, I'm realizing that I'm drawn more to the subjects that help me to not only understand others better, but also myself.  This is truly unfamiliar waters.  I've always been a people-watcher and have always been fascinated by what made "others" tick, but now the focus is also on what makes me tick - how I think.  As I dive deeper into the critical thinking literature, I'm starting to see the areas that need to be tweaked or even overhauled.  I'm once again at the metaphorical crossroads, but this time it's in the form of a shore or pier, as seen in the picture above.

I've got a choice.  I can sit on the shore and continue to watch the sun rise and set, see incredible reflections off the peaceful still waters, and enjoy the calm.  Or, I can step off the pier into the boat and row out to deeper waters away from the illusive security and stability that the pier may bring.  To stay on the pier means to accept status quo and try to be satisfied that I've already learned and grown so much.  But, that's impossible!  As I continue to visit my manifesto, I know that the only way to do what I've felt compelled to do with my life is to jump right in and face whatever the deep waters may bring.  Every day there is a choice - create some internal ripples by rowing out a little deeper or turn around and head for the shore.  I choose to go deeper!

It reminds me of some of the lyrics from the Steven Curtis Chapman song, "Dive":
...

And like the rain
I have been carried here to where the river flows, yeah
My heart is racing and my knees are weak
As I walk to the edge
I know there is no turning back
Once my feet have left the edge
And in the rush I hear a voice
That's telling me it's time to take the leap of faith
So here I go

Chorus:
I'm diving in, I'm going deep, in over my head I want to be
Caught in the rush, tossed in the flow, in over my head I want to go
The river's deep, the river's wide, the river's water is alive
So sink or swim, I'm diving in

In case you're interested, here's his video:

Leadership Manifesto

As noted in the last post, the first semester is over and today begins the next chapter.  We ended the leadership series by writing our first leadership manifesto.  This is the culmination of introductory exercises in self-discovery of strengths, values, passion, and the journey.

I am sharing my leadership manifesto to allow those who know me or interact with me to hold me accountable to these values and declarations.  You have complete permission to ask me how I'm doing at any time with respect to these declarations and to provide loving correction if you see me veering off course.

 Introduction

Everyone is a leader in some way, but not everyone accepts the responsibility of leadership.  Leaders influence and inspire – in both negative and positive ways.  When we accept the responsibility to be influential and inspirational to others, it is then that we are stepping out of our comfort zone of complacency and self-absorbed egos to put our focus on others.  How can one possibly think they can influence someone else without first understanding those they desire to influence?

As I have reviewed all of the previous papers that we were required to write for this seminar series, I’ve pondered what I am now to do given what I’ve said is important, given what I view is leadership, and given the journey I’ve traveled so far.  This manifesto will summarily declare these things and provide my personal “marching orders”, answering my recurring question, “What am I supposed to do with this?”

My Leadership Manifesto

Intentionality Matters:

Nothing of great value in our lives happens by accident.  I will not accomplish great things, cultivate deep relationships, or gain in-depth knowledge by waiting for those things to happen.  I must live with intentionality and purpose.  The foundation for my manifesto must be based on intentionality.  Every decision, every activity, every moment must be as intentional as possible.  Based on what I’ve discovered about myself in this leadership series, I am daily revisiting the question, “Am I now who I have always been or is this just a mask I’ve donned for the theatre of life?”   I have to be real with myself.  I cannot just exist – I must live.

Trust Matters: 

To effectively lead, I must walk on a foundation of trust.  Trust provides freedom and empowerment.  Trust gives me the freedom to control the way I conduct myself with others and allows me to not worry about the reactions of others.   Trust empowers me to be intentionally vulnerable as I build authentic relationships, but diplomatically bold when facing conflict or issues that need to be addressed.

Growth Matters: 

"Don't be afraid of going slowly, be afraid of standing still."
Eastern Proverb

We’ve all heard that we’re either growing or we’re dying. I am committed to personal growth – spiritually, intellectually, and physically. 

I will intentionally seek God daily through praying, reading, and journaling introspectively to gain insight, wisdom and discernment.  If I am to be a “light” in this world, I need to understand that every light has a source.  Daylight’s source is from the sun – John’s light source is from the Son of God.

I will intentionally seek out mentors who will challenge me to see different perspectives, to strengthen relevant skills, to aid in self-discovery, and to expand my sphere of influence.  

I will intentionally pursue resources that will challenge and help me to grow intellectually.  This will come in the form of mentors, relationships, online reading, books, classes, and seminars.

I will intentionally block out time, weekly, for regular exercise to provide an outlet of stress release and to stay healthy and active for as long as I live.

"A leader who develops people ADDS - a leader who develops leaders, MULTIPLIES!" -John Maxwell.   “Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies within us while we live.” -Norman Cousins.

I am not just committed to personal growth, but also to encouraging growth in others.  I will be a servant leader to my wife, extended family, and friends.  I will be a cultivator of authentic revelation and discovery in each relationship.  I will intentionally encourage each relationship to discover their gifts/strengths and incorporate them into their personal journey.  I will intentionally be discerning in my relationships and always look for ways to add value and enrich others lives.

Today Matters:

“Hope is the ability to hear the music of the future; faith is the courage to dance to it today.” -Peter Kuzmic. 
“Never let your memories be greater than your dreams.” -Doug Ivester.

The choices I make today sow into the person I will become tomorrow.  I will make the most of each day while creating margin in my life for a balanced approach to the declarations of this manifesto.  I will continue to dream, but I will act on those dreams today.

Chapter one is now finished......

image from behavioradvisor.com

Chapter one of the MBA journey is now complete. Five chapters to go!

Last night, we had our final class in the first leadership series and we took our economics final exam.  Amazing that 15 weeks have flown by so quickly!

Our time in leadership concluded with another world cafe.  As people shared their ideas, I was enjoying listening to those that normally do not speak up in class.  I was amazed at the vulnerability, transparency and authenticity from which people spoke - sharing part of their journey or just sharing what they're wrestling with right now.  Last night's class time began with four learning teams, but I felt that by the end of our class time, we were finally one big cohort team.

image from winterpark.gov

This journey we're all on together has challenged me to intentionally pause during the day and attempt to consider different approaches to my day, challenges, encounters, relationships, etc.  We all find ourselves in the weeds of our work, the tyranny of the urgent, or just in the moment all too often.  But during the intentional pauses of my day, I'm visualizing getting on a hot air balloon to rise above the madness into the peaceful and quiet solitude of the heights.  From there, I am finding clarity of thought, reminders of purpose, renewal of energy, and new perspectives.

We also concluded our economics class with our final exam.  Afterwards, some had gathered just down the hall from the class to talk.  Matt and Ramon convinced us to go to undergraduates' end of year "Midnight Madness" where they served free breakfast to all the students.  It was great just hanging out with others from our cohort as we end this first semester.

So, chapter one is closed.  I know the elements of chapter two, but what will ultimately be written in this next chapter is yet to be seen.  The thought of that is both scary and exciting, but I'm ready to turn the page and keep reading!

Week 14: The Umbrella of Trust....

Just when one thinks it doesn't get any better than this - it does.  Our team has crested, yet another summit.  We've climbed the mountain of "Journey" this week and found TRUST at the top.

This week, we were individually assigned the task of comparing our journey to a movie of our choosing.  We were then asked to meet within our teams and openly share those journeys with one another while taking the time to really pause and reflect on each one's journey.  Our team met on Saturday for dinner and spent 6.5 hours on this exercise.  Each one's journey was truly unique.  There was intentional vulnerability in the discussion - from the sharing of the journey, the ensuing discussion, and insight from the team.  I continue to learn more about each person - and I am amazed and blessed by their journey.

Humor me for a moment and imagine that our team has just climbed Mount Journey and reached Trust Summit.  We're experiencing a new beginning of a new day together as the fog of self (ego, fear, control) is burnt off by the morning sunrise (vulnerability).  There's this brisk air of excitement of the new day....clarity, hope, inspiration, openness, respect.

Last night in our leadership class, each team was asked to summarize what we've learned so far in this leadership series with respect to living out our values, faith and ethics in leadership.  Our team came up with "The Umbrella of Trust" - see picture to the left.

We all have the umbrella, but we also have to be intentional in its use.  When the rain comes, we can either do nothing and get drenched and soggy with the elements of the storm or we can make the choice to open the umbrella and experience covering.  The elements we depicted in the picture were elements of self and of others - ego, fear, "in the box", conflict, etc....  We viewed the umbrella of trust as enabling each of us to navigate the storm - not necessarily get out of the storm.  When the umbrella of trust is open, the catalyst or enabler of the benefits of trust is intentional vulnerability.  Trust and vulnerability enable openness to feedback, respect, reconciliation, inspiration....all of the list in the picture above.  This whole concept is still forming in our minds....who knows, there may be more to come on this.

In our Economics class, it was a night of critique and rebuttal presentations.  Each team's SWOT analysis was given to another team to be critiqued.  That critique was provided back to the original team so that they could put together a rebuttal.  Last night, each team was responsible for two presentations - 1) Critique of another team's paper and 2) Rebuttal of the critique on their own paper.  Similar to the night we had marketing presentations, I enjoyed watching each team present as it gave people who normally do not speak up in class a chance to talk.

All of the presentations were good.  The exercise provided the opportunities to give constructive criticism and feedback to another team while receiving similar criticism and feedback on your own paper.  Some winced, squirmed and showed forced smiles as they fought back the temptation to defend themselves, while others graciously nodded their heads with understanding.  It is always hard to hear criticism, but I believe, as a whole (not just our team), our cohort is developing a trust for one another that we ultimately understand that we're all trying to help each other.  We're not here to try to make someone else look bad, but rather, we are encouraging each other to finish strong in this MBA marathon.

Thank you team #2 for graciously receiving our critique and thank you team #3 for taking the time to read and critique our paper.  I had to open my umbrella of trust many times during the evening, but I'm so glad I understood my choice to do so.

Week 13: Passionography and Critique

I left very early last Tuesday morning to drive to MS to visit with my mother.  About an hour into the journey I discovered that I had left my computer at home, so I was not able to get a jump start on my leadership assignment.  This week we had to list our strengths, values, skills, and enlist others to provide us with a list of what our top 5 things they most important to us.  Before I left for MS, I sent out my requests to friends, family, and employees for their feedback on those top 5 things and also requested a short paragraph on how they view my leadership. More on that shortly.

Normal vision

Same view with macular degeneration

Forgetting my computer was at first irritating, but in some ways liberating, as it helped me to spend much more time with Mom on this trip.  This was a tough trip for me as I could tell that my mother has declined since my last visit.  She has dementia and macular degeneration.  The short-term memory loss, declination of her eyesight, and recent changes in her medications have made her more anxious - which is understandable.  It's hard to understand what a person sees with macular degeneration, but I found a good example that helps me understand it better as shown in these pictures from Wikipedia.  In the past, Mom relied heavily on my father to keep her medications straight, to help her navigate when in public, and even cover up her memory issues.  With Dad's passing, my brother keeps her medications straight, but she is not wanting to leave her home much because of her sight and her memory issues.  Thankfully, I was able to convince her to go out to dinner one evening and on another day to visit with her sisters (one of whom has advanced Alzheimer's).  All in all, I'm glad I was able to make the trip and have some quality time with her.  Time went by so fast that I missed visiting her sweet sweet neighbors that are the same as family to us, so I'll have to be more intentional on my next visit.

While in MS, Thursday evening, I had a conference call with my learning team where we discussed our Economics assignment.  We had to critique another learning team's paper and be prepared to turn in that critique this Monday night.  We struggled collectively with the balance of not wanting to be too critical of the other team's paper, while making sure that we were objectively holding them accountable to the criteria that we all had to write our papers.  It was a very productive call and I felt compelled to share with the team just how much I genuinely appreciated them.  For the next few minutes, the rest of the team was sharing with each other their same sentiments.  It was a very nice ending to our phone call that evening.

From: kamyabology.com

Upon my return to Austin, I had to catch up on the work that I couldn't do without my computer.  As I began to read through all of the feedback that others had provided for the passionography assignment, I was humbled and appreciative by what I read.  I found this assignment to be one of the more difficult papers that I've had to write so far.  My main struggle was making sure that I would be true to myself and write exactly how I felt and thought in the paper rather than what I would think is expected.  After mulling this over for almost 5 hours (yes, seriously), I came to realization that there were no expectations on this assignment (except to complete it).  I, then committed to write straight from my heart and see where the paper goes.  After all, this class isn't intended to mold us into any one particular shape, but rather, to allow us to discover who we really are individually and then free us to live it out loud.  An hour and half later, the paper was finished.

This evening's leadership class was quite introspective.  We were put into groups of three with other team members and that allowed us to get to know a couple other people that we don't normally interact with regularly.  We took the time to write out specific milestones in our life that were pivotal moments for us on our leadership journey.  I was astounded and inspired by the transparency the two people in my group.  We each ran out of time while telling our pivotal moment, so I hope to hear the rest of their story soon.  As exhausted as I was physically going into this evening, I find that I really come to life in this class.  I absolutely love this class!

Week 12: Friction....the good kind



Image from school-for-champions.com

 What's the bear's problem in the picture? 
He didn't read or heed the warning sign.
This is the pivotal moment that I feel that I'm at right now.  All of the reading that we're doing for the leadership series class is really causing several paradigm shifts and basically creating a lot of friction inside.  I've got two choices: 1) Ignore the warning signs that appear on the billboard of my mind - warning me of the dangers of status quo; or 2) Listen, embrace, explore, evaluate, and adjust what my current realities are regarding my strengths, leadership, and general approach to dealing with people.

I choose #2.

Because of that choice, two words that keep challenging me this week.  The first word is "intentional".  It has been a theme in conversations with friends this week and was the theme within the bible study group that I participate.  I can choose #2 from the choices above all day long, but I have to be intentional about it.  I can't just take an intellectual journey, but need to be intentional about digging deeper and looking for opportunities to change and/or apply what I've learned into my daily walk.

The second word is "friction".  As I try to embrace the things that I'm learning, it is causing growing pains.  Lots of friction inside, as I begin to remodel this metaphorical house.  It's a good friction though, not the typical friction that would connotate conflict with others, but rather it is conflict within myself as I confront the reality of who I am versus who I REALLY am.  This has lit a fire inside, that is a purging fire - transformational.  Deep, yes, I know.  But, that's the best I can do for this week to explain it, so chew on that a while.

This week's reading assignments have been about "calling", "vocation", and "self-deception".  During the week, we read Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation by Parker Palmer.  The writer is very poetic, deep, and transparent.  I didn't love the book, but was definitely challenged by some of the content.  We complemented that reading with chapter 38 from the book, Business Leadership: A Josey-Bass Reader, Joan Gallos (editor).  But, the book that has really captured my attention and is causing the most friction inside and resulting in noticeable change outside, is the book, Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box, Arbinger Institute.  I can't seem to put that book down.  It is well written in the same type of style of The Goal by Dr. Eliyahu M. Goldratt.  I have typically considered myself diplomatic, easy to work with, open to criticism, and having a genuine concern for people.  This book has made me reexamine myself and challenge me to completely embrace the concept of living "out of the box".  Read the book!!

I hope that I am not conveying, in any way, that this is an easy process.  Because, it is not.  However, I am absolutely loving this journey and would not trade it for the world!

Leadership.....

What a week!  It seems that most people that I've talked to this week were having especially busy weeks with their work and home lives.....OH, and we also had to study for our second economics test (joke intended as if it were an after thought HA).  As it turned out to be a busy week for us all, our learning team had another person from the class to join with us in our study session this weekend for the test.  Then, two of us decided to join his group the next day to continue the study.  That time studying together proved to be priceless and I think we all did well on the test.

Leadership Study:

Image from theadblog.com

Last night I took the Strengths Finder survey online and got my report.  This survey is like the typical personality type survey where you answer questions by choosing one option over another.  There were 177 questions and I made myself answer the questions immediately without trying to over-think them. I asked my wife to read the report first to give me her first impression of it before I read it.  I always find the type of personality/strengths tests both annoying and intriguing.  Annoying because I don't like to be "categorized" or put "in a box", but yet it is intriguing, because I found that it was right on the money with 95% of how it attributed me.

Additionally, I enjoyed the reading assignment for the class far more than I thought I would.  Because of the busy week, I didn't read the books until today.  I took a long lunch and read.  When I got to the book, Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting out of the Box by Arbinger Institute, I read the first five chapters as assigned and found that I didn't want to stop.  The story is engaging and you naturally want to keep reading to find out what happens next.

Photo by Cammie Wilkerson

Tonight, we spent time learning what others' strength attributes were and roamed the room interviewing one another about those strengths.  I found that completely fascinating.  I really appreciated the transparency of the discussion, not just from Dr. Ford's facilitation, but from my cohort.  A portion of our time dealt with the subject of vulnerability including a great video of Dr. Brene Brown discussing the value of vulnerability.  I shared with the cohort that I have always felt transparent and have not been resistant to being vulnerable, but still, the video challenges me to ask myself if I really am vulnerable or can I be more vulnerable.  I highly encourage you to check out that video...http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html. 

As I reflect on the week and this evening's classes, I find myself, as usual, appreciating my learning team, but the experiences of this week and the discussions in class tonight make me appreciate the total cohort that we're  on this journey together.  I think that appreciation started a couple of weeks ago when the individual presentations started, then last week with group presentations.  During those two weeks, I heard people speaking in class for the very first time.  Now tonight, we just went a little deeper together in class.  From someone that gets energy from learning about others and knowing their stories, this evening has supplied me with lots of energy.  So to my fellow cohort members, thank YOU.